he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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