I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
