The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I party with great urgency now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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