I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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