Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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