i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
