Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
organizing the empties. That sober.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
