just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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