You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
