The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
