Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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