My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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