I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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