My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
