At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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