she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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