I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The uberlube is also flammable
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
