i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
And then my night got REAL pukey
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
