New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
