I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
