i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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