I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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