was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
