So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
