We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
