Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We're not piercing ourselves today.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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