can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
