smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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