Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
