Swine flu. Run for my life!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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