Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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