in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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