I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
