Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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