Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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