Got a toothbrush?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
