Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
