I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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