So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize