Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I intend to get homeless drunk
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
