i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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