was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
whose parrot is this?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
God, I missed his penis.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize