you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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