Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Jerry, you need to find god
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
