how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
