Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
a search helicopter?!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
