Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
