I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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