My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
