either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the day after is always just damage control
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
