The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
