So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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